Nothing Without You
by BeingASupernaturalWolfGirl
Summary: This is a collaboration between myself and my best friend, Jenn. I am writing the part of Vincent, she is writing the part of Cat.
1. Monster

I was normal once. I remember what it was like. I had a career and a family. I was doing something with my life. And then 9/11 happened. I think a part of me died along with my brothers when those towers fell, and I haven't been the same since. I don't know what made me decide to enlist in the military, really, besides thinking that I needed to do something to avenge my brother's deaths.

Instead, I was made into a monster by my own government. A killing machine designed to eradicate my enemy with deadly precision unlike anything ever seen before. I wasn't human anymore – no longer was I the same Vincent I had been back in med school. I honestly don't even know what I am, besides a danger to everyone if I walked the streets freely.

Then I met Catherine, and I felt human again, if even for whatever brief time we spent together. Cat doesn't see me as a freak, or a monster. She sees me as a man. She's seen both sides of me: the good and the bad in the short time we've known each other, and yet she doesn't judge me. She only wants to help me in whatever capacity she can. She knows all my secrets, and even though we're both in danger because of it, she still wants to be around me.

She is beautiful and kind, sassy and stubborn, smart and witty – pretty much the complete package. I feel like I have known her for my whole life – I guess that happens when you follow someone for seven years and keep an eye on them. Even when I am perched on her fire escape on her birthday waiting for her to notice me somehow, even when I watch as she kisses that pretentious playboy doctor she works with – even then – I still think she is the most wonderful being in the world. JT would roll his eyes and snort at me for saying so, but maybe it's time I came clean to myself about how I feel.


	2. Human

Catherine changed in the fall of 2003 when her mother was killed in front of her. Not knowing why it had to happen. She had often times blamed herself, if she had not called her mother for help. Then as she looked deep into things and what Vincent had said. Would it have happened anyway? Either way she would have been faced with it, whether or not it was personal. But would she have met Vincent. The man that saved her life many times. This all changed the course of her life. From a bartender who was attending law school, to a Homicide Detective with NYPD. After her experience, she didn't want to feel that helpless again. Catherine wanted to take a more active role in helping people. To put the real monsters away.

Catherine had wished that Vincent was at her surprise birthday party. But she understood why it wasn't happening. Although he had seen himself as a monster, Catherine could not. Where the world needed heroes, to her he is one. Catherine wants to help him, if he let her. Vincent deserved so much better than he got. Catherine hates what Muirfield did to him. Catherine had wanted to find a way to make them responsible for what they did to Vincent, to anyone else that they had done this too. As a detective, Catherine has seen monsters. The humans that could do what she has seen them do to another human being. Muirfield was no different then the people she had put away for life. They were the monsters, not Vincent or others they had experimented on.

As Catherine was surrounded by her sister and friends. There was one missing person to her, in her mind and heart. But she put on a happy face, and in some way she was. That and the alcohol going to her brain, that when Evan kissed her she kissed back. _What am I thinking_ the feeling of guilt as the one person she had wanted there and was feeling something for wasn't there. Catherine wished things were different for _him_, at least it would give her a chance to be open about the feelings she carried for him. She figured in some way he should already know there was something there. After all she seen him and he was not a monster in her eyes. Catherine saw passed the beast he became to see the man he truly is, but could she convince him of that?


	3. The War Within

_I should go._

As I repeat the mantra over and over in my brain, I find my body simply doesn't want to move as I peer carefully through the window for any signs of Catherine. Even the slightest glance of her makes me smile, and makes my pulse race just a bit. I wonder idly what would happen if it was me kissing her instead of Evan in that photo booth. Would I be able to keep it together, or would it make me turn into the monster I knew I could be?

_You can never do that, Keller. You and Catherine can never be together. Lock those feelings up deep inside and never let them see the light of day. Haven't you already caused her enough trouble?_

I had. Since Catherine had figured out I was still alive, I had caused her nothing but trouble. I had put her in danger numerous times. But I need her. I need her so bad it keeps me awake at night just thinking of her face. I've been watching out for her seven years now, trying to keep her safe and alive. I've felt an attachment to her since the night her mother was murdered by the same organization I was trying to avoid.

I don't know when my feelings changed into more, and as hard as I try to deny them, they are always there. Cat has made it into my heart somehow, and I want to be with her. I know I can't, though, and that's why my heart and my mind are constantly at war with the other. My heart tries to make me believe we could make it work somehow, while my mind is constantly reminding me that I am absolutely a horrible match for her. How can I be with someone when I could turn into a monster every moment we are together? I could harm Catherine in the blink of an eye, with very little effort, and that is something I am not prepared to do.

No, Evan is definitely the kind of man Cat needs. He is successful and stable, and they seem to get along well. Obviously Catherine likes him, since he wasn't the one that had initiated that kiss earlier. With a small sigh, I stand, leaving the gift I had brought with me on the window sill. At least Cat would know I had been there on her special day, whether I could be a part of the festivities or not.

_I'll always be there for her. No matter what I do or where I go, I will keep her safe._


	4. Confusion

What am I doing? Catherine could only think to herself about the kiss with Evan.

It wasn't that it was bad, Catherine thought it was quite nice. With the alcohol going straight to her brain she wasn't sure exactly if she liked it or hated it. Liked it. If she was being honest with herself. Certainly something she had to be, or something like that would never make sense. Knowing it was a kiss with Evan, she knows and works with. The man dated, and if anyone made it a living Evan would. Catherine didn't want to be a notch in the mans belt. Of course one kiss wouldn't make her one.

It was only a spontaneous thing..It won't happen again! It can't happen again! There had been that one part of her that wanted to admit to her feelings for a man. She had wanted to come clean that the kiss was anything but perfect. Perfect being the one man she wish was there. Catherine knew that if anything, he was there in his own way. She found herself looking towards the windows, wondering if she could see him. As the thought of walking over to take that moment she would hear her name being called. Her reality was he had to be kept a secret, not that it was something she wanted. Vincent. He was always around when she needed him. Did that mean he was there now? in his own way. Was he close enough?

Despite who was all at her birthday party, there was one other person she wished could have participated. Openly, perhaps the kiss would have been with him. Vincent.

Her sister had put up a star the was significant to being their mother. And in her mind she was content with that. But she wasn't certain if Vincent was close enough to be considered there too. A part of her. That very big part of her that wanted to say there is someone special in her life. To admit that feelings were simply more. That she even now was counting the minutes that she could see him again. Catherine in all honesty wanted the kiss to be with Vincent. The one that she had seen, both his true beauty. And the beast he became, that had saved her life so many times when she needed him. Her superhero. Even though she had to remain focused on her birthday party, and pretty much participating in the festivities. Catherine wanted it to be over, just so she can see Vincent.


End file.
